Return to Vietnam

Saigon Harbor welcomes me,
A tourist, not a soldier, returning,
Cars on the streets instead of tanks,
No fires burning but flags of welcome,
A little boy playing ball in the street,
He'll throw no grenades anymore,
The old street with the brothel,
My wife smirking at me when I ask:
"Is Li-Yung still there?"
- my friend, my love,
My only sunshine in those days,
I owe her my sanity, maybe my survival,
Li-Yung comes down to see me,
She's aged, still those fine,
Delicate features,
A boy in tow who looks like me
But the eyes are oriental,
"Your son", she says, "the best present
You ever gave me, little soldier,
I was a whore - yet I loved you,
More than you will ever know,
We can also love - you know,
Shame maybe in our faces
But our hearts can be pure,
Kiss your father - John,
He was the sun of my very life",
My wife stares at me in disgust,
A wealthy woman, but not forgiving,
Married to a weak, unsuccessful man,
An incompetent dreamer,
I don't know what to say or do,
Another Madam Butterfly?
I can not deal with this,
My life is on a given track,
On the way home I look in the mirror
And I hate what I see,
"She's only a whore",
My wife with contempt,
But in my heart of hearts I know
That I turned from a soldier
Into a coward,
Facing an insecure, miserable life
Lacking the courage of my conviction...

Alfred Charasz
Copyright 2007 Alfred Charasz